Submission

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." COL 3:18

Because the word "submit" and the above verse has been used in the past to control "the woman", it is definitely a subject that needs addressing.

First the verses around this one (contextually) were giving standards for living a life without strife. (Putting on kindness, mercy, forgiving one another). They were not commandments necessarily but advice from one whose words were respected at the time.

Tacked in the middle of these verses we find the subject of wives submitting.

(Though the verse is at the end of the chapter now, when it was written, it was written as a letter. Thus we must look at the beginning of the next chapter as the next part of the letter. The very next verse is "Masters, give unto [your] servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven." I believe this shows again he's simply giving tenets that will make our lives easier if we choose to follow them. )

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." COL 3:18

"submit one selves" translated from the Greek "hupotasso" {hoop-ot-as'-so} from two Greek roots meaning:

"1) by, under" and

to put in order, to station
to place in a certain order, to arrange, to assign a place, to appoint
to assign (appoint) a thing to one
to appoint, ordain, order
to appoint on one's own responsibility or authority

2) to appoint mutually, i.e. agree upon
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other ways of looking at it:

"to yield to one's admonition or advice"

"A Greek military term meaning 'to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader'. In non-military use, it was 'a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden'. "

(In the following verse it's often translated as "respect"):

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." EPH 5:33.

I've noticed that men who use this verse as a sword over their wives often miss the beginning of the verse: "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself...". Clearly Men have a responsiblity to uphold his part in this also.
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Why is it we as women have a difficult time yielding to our men?

Again, because that "authority" has been used to abuse us in the past. Somehow we have to find healing and move past the hurt inflicted on us. We must find a way to bring home humilty once again because there is where the blessings lay.

A submissive heart releases blessings. "A man's pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor. " PROV 29:23
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Let's Look at "submit" used elsewhere:

Jam 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
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1Pe 2:13 Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme,
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Pe 5:5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."


Isn't it easier for us to submit in these situations? Why is that? Is it because the other speak of submitting to "husbands"?


As a final thought, I think it's more than just "submitting" to what he says because "that's what I'm supposed to do", but it is coming to an agreement first. However if he is doing his job ( loving us as he loves himself, submitting himself in turn to God's guidance,) one doesn't have much of a problem with yielding. (For if he loves us he will respect our input too.)

Will I give in without a fight? No. Will I not give my opinion? Yeah right! However I personaly would love for my man to be seen as the leader of our home.

Now I think we have to take into account the fact that every man, every woman, and every family is unique. One way a man might lead would be his wife letting him make the majority of decisions because frankly some women just don't want that responsibility. Some men might want the wives to make the household decisions and he make financial. Some men may just not want to be bothered with it and let her make all the decisions. That is him yielding to her his authority and that's totally ok. Ya just gotta know what works for your family really.

I do want to be sure to say this:
IF the man is not submitting himself to the tenets also laid down before Col 3:18. If instead he is abusive, then no way should a women submit to one such as him.


Again, A WOMAN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD NOT SUBMIT TO THAT MAN AND NEEDS TO GET OUT! He is not submitting to God and thereby nullifies his authority.